To Wafangdian Thanks For Everything

Friday was a holiday in China. It's the same as our Labor Day. So Goodyear was closed for the day. Jerry has been after me to visit his home town and meet his family. So we scheduled to do it on this holiday. I asked him how we would get there and he gave me three options: Train, bus, or taxi. I chose train! Most people know I'm a huge fan of trains! I think they're great and should be used more in the US. Especially between near cities....anyways, that's another story.

So Friday morning we are suppose to leave at 8:30 AM on a train to Wafangdian. Jerry calls me at 7:30 and says he can't make the train that early. He wants to take the 9:30 train. Now, Jerry had told me that if we didn't take the 8:30 train, it would be packed at 9:30...but I said, "OK, it's your city!"

Jerry arrives at my place at 9:00, we take a taxi to the train station. I look out the window as we get close...it's just a sea of humanity, buses, and taxis. Mostly it's humanity and buses with taxis trying to sneak through. We get out of the taxi enter the chaos! Jerry has a worried look on his face..kind of scrunching his nose, "I don't think we take train." He points at the station, and it is over flowing with people....just waiting to go in the station and buy a ticket. I agree and ask what our next option is. Jerry says we should take the bus.

Jerry starts leading me through the sea of people, constantly getting ran into, bumped and almost hit by buses and taxis. The best way to describe it would be a real life game of Frogger at top speed. Your just trying to avoid everything and get across the street...you don't even care where you end up across the street, as long as you are out of the way of the vehicles.

We walk over to the bus area. Bad Noodle finds our bus, "It's just boarding now...one problem."

I start looking around...it seems to be running....I'm not sure what could be wrong, "What's the problem?"

Jerry points towards a building...then I see the problem. It's a massive line that goes at least 100 yards. They are all waiting to get on the bus that we need. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! It looks like a line the day after Thanksgiving at Best Buy, waiting for a chance to buy 1 of 10 WII's.

I look at Jerry, "This dog ain't gonna hunt!"

Jerry looks at me confused, "What dog? No dog here"

"Never mind, what about the taxi option...I'd rather do that then the bus anyways?"

So we have to find a taxi now. Easier said then done. Since it's a holiday weekend all the taxi drivers want to charge what Jerry thinks is a to much....300RMB or 45 bucks. After we try to find a driver like 7 times...I ask Jerry how much they want...at this point he tells me 300 RMB.

"Jerry, that's fine, my treat!" Mind you, his hometown is an hour and twenty minutes away. I pay almost that much to go from my place to Mitchell airport in Milwaukee. So I think it's a good deal.

We get in the cab and Jerry asks if a classmate of his can ride with us. She wants to go back to her home town to. I said I didn't mind, I had met her once before, nice girl.

So we head out. The driver is listening to techno music...the whole way. It's hilarious! Here I am riding in a taxi with three Chinese people listening to techno music....just like "A Night At The Roxbury". I start bobbing my head like the SNL skit...they didn't get it.

We finally arrive in Wafangdian. It's a really small town by Chinese standards...maybe 1 million with the surrounding area. Pretty decent sized for the US, but Chinese consider this the sticks.

The taxi drops us off at Jerry's Grandparents house. That is where we are going to eat. The whole way to their place Jerry is anxious because the Rockets are playing. I know the NBA had no idea on this one, but because the Rockets were playing in Portland, the game came on at like 10:00 AM...so it was still going right as lunch was being made. EVERYONE was interested in the game. It had a Thanksgiving vibe to the whole thing.

So we walk into the apartment, actually it's a condo in China, but has more of an apartment feel. There are a whole bunch of people here...Grandparents, Parents, Aunt and Uncle, some kids...a few more people that I wasn't sure the relationship.

Everyone is very excited to meet me. Jerry does a great job of translating for me. He really speaks great English. I get introduced to them. They all remember my friend Greg (Co-Worker) and ask how he is doing. I tell them he is good. (Everyone says hello Greg.)

We watch the end of the Rockets game, the Rockets won! They advanced passed the first round for the first time in a long time. The funny part is that everyone is watching the game, but they barely show any emotion when Houston won...it's weird...just ho hum, on to the next thing.

During the game we had started lunch. They had a big spread of food, all kinds of stuff. It was all good. While this was going on, Jerry's Uncle broke out the Tsing Tao beer. Jerry says something to him in Chinese..next thing I know, I have a bowl sitting in front of me. His uncle fills it with beer.

Jerry then tells me that he told his Uncle I can drink a lot of beer. I am a little confused...."Why did you tell him that?"

"My family can drink much beer, he will want to challenge you."

"Jerry I didn't come here to get plowed...I thought we were coming for a nice holiday dinner?"

"Yes"

Now I chuckle...there was my favorite answer...Jerry knows it too! He starts to laugh, "We eat and drink!"

So his Uncle is sizing me up then he yells, "Gumbai!" (Gum-Bay-Bottoms up) So Jerry, his Uncle, Grandpa, and I all gumbai. I think each bowl holds roughly one beer.

We start to eat and talk during lunch....every couple of minutes I hear his Uncle yell, "Gumbai!" Bottoms up again!

I end up getting to talk to everyone over lunch because Jerry is a great translator. It works out really well. Just every five minutes I hear "Gumbai!" So as dinner goes on I'm getting loaded on Chinese beer! It's starting to seem that if I say something, gumbai is going to be the answer....

So as we attempt to finish every bottle of beer within 40 miles, I notice that ping pong is on the TV. I ask Jerry if his family likes Ping Pong. He says they do. He asks me if I want to play?

"Where?"

"At Ping Pong gym"

"Ping Pong gym? Of course I want to go to a Ping Pong gym."

He says something to his Father and Uncle, the return answer from his Uncle, "Gumbai!" So I have some more beer...then he smiles and tells Jerry we can go there.

So we head out for a walk to the Ping Pong gym. I could use the fresh air. I'm HAMMERED!!! The place was about a half mile away...all the better! I was cherishing that walk.

We walk into this really old looking building. The bottom floor is a pharmacy...we walk up three flights of stairs and into PING PONG HEAVEN!!!!!

There are tables everywhere! It's absolutely hilarious! Each table has barriers around it to keep your ball near. Most people are dressed like they are going for a workout. They have gym bags, special ping pong shoes, and everyone has their own paddle.

Once everyone noticed I was there...I became a celebrity. This town doesn't see many foreigners...and definitely not any as big as me. So I shook hands with just about everyone in the place.

On the way over, Jerry tells me that his Uncle is the best player in the family. He has a membership at this club/gym. None of them think I will be any good at Ping Pong.

So my first opponent is Jerry "Bad Noodle" Wang. We play to 11. I dispose of Bad Noodle 11-4. As soon as I scored the 11th point, I dropped my paddle on the table and yelled, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!" (Line from Gladiator when Russell Crow waxes the whole group of gladiators by himself) Everyone starts laughing! I know they didn't understand what I was saying, but they saw the big smile on my face and knew I was having fun.

My second opponent was Jerry's Dad. He use to be the best player in the family, but he had a stroke, so his brother has passed him. He's still good. He has a crazy serve style. It's hard to see which way that thing is going to come....could have been the beers too! I beat him 11-8, he was tough though. I then played him a second time, he beat me 11-8.

The whole time these games are going on, I know that Jerry's uncle is sizing my game up. He wanted to see what I had before he played me. I picked up on this quick, so I didn't use all my serves. I saved a couple special....

So his Uncle and I square off. His uncle is good! But he plays every day. I haven't played in probably 4 years. I started off by using a chop serve...so there is lots of spin on the ball. He had no answer for that. He kept hitting it back in the net. I was feeling pretty confident. However, I didn't win. We played each other 5 times, he took all five. They were always two point games..one went to 16-14, but I didn't win. I'm sure if I played for a couple of weeks, I would be able to beat him pretty regularly. I'm glad I didn't win actually, because I could see that ended up being a big thing for the family. They were all really proud.

Chinese play Ping Pong weird. They don't use a lot of spins and they are always looking for a kill shot. So if place your shots to get them out of position, it's pretty easy to score. Plus a lot of them hold the paddle weird. They hold it upside down, between their fingers...so it makes it hard to back hand.

It was a great time though!

Then they had a friend drive us around town and show me everything. After that we were suppose to go back to Grandpa's for dinner. So we had to stop and pick something up. The guy that was driving us took us to a restaurant. He left, we went inside. They wanted to know if I liked frog...I've never had frog but said I would try.

Jerry points to a bucket on the ground, "Pick them"

I look down, there is a big bucket of frogs...HUGE frogs! "You want me to pick which one we are going to eat?"

"Pick three."

So I go down to take a closer look at the frogs..I lean in "3 of you are marked for death." I'm no judge of frogs, but I got high marks for my picks. I used a method of size and color.

Jerry patted me on the back, "You pick good frogs"

"Thanks Jerry" We sat and had a couple of cups of tea while we waited for the frogs to be cooked. Jerry's uncle told me that because I lost at Ping Pong there would be more Gumbai! I laughed, "Great, can't wait."

We went back to the house, everyone else was still there. They already had the table set for dinner. Immediately Jerry's uncle yelled, "Gumbai!" So I started my drinking again...and it was just about the time I was coming down from the last round.

During dinner Jerry's Grandparents gave me pictures they had taken at lunch. It was REALLY nice of them. They asked about my family and I told them what everyone did for a living. Jerry mentioned that my Mother had passed away, and they wanted to know more about her. So I told them what she did, and that she always helped people that were less fortunate. Jerry's Grandpa said something in Chinese and Jerry told me that he admired my Mother and wanted the whole family to do a special gumbai for her. I thanked him and everyone lifted their drink and we did a gumbai for Mom.

So it got to be around 7:00 and we needed to catch a train back to Dalian! Of course I'm loaded again! But I was excited to still get my train ride. The whole family walked us to the train station...except Grandma and Grandpa. I gave them both a big hug and told them I would miss them...they said the same.

We got to the train station and said our goodbyes. Jerry's Mom made me a doggy bag of dumplings and some other stuff. We caught our train and went back to Dalian.

This trip was great! So much fun! Chinese people are some of the most hospitable people you will ever find.




Jerry's Uncle "Gumbai!!!!"

Me and the neighbor's kid. She had never seen an American before. They wanted her to meet me.

My prize frogs...off to the slaughter!

I call this one, "The Untouchables". It reminds me of the picture they took in the beginning of the movie. When they are all sitting around smoking cigars. left to right: Jerry's Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle.

Jerry's Grandpa and I doing a Gumbai!

Swine Flu and Basketball

I was pumped today because I was invited to play basketball with the Goodyear engineers. Rumor had it I was slated to be a first round pick...a poor man's Oliver Miller. Unfortunately there was a break down late in the afternoon, so most of the guys had to work over...the game got cancelled. DAMN!!!! They said we might play next Monday or Tuesday...I hope to get a game in before I leave. It should be funny!

Every time I think about it, I think about the movie Airplane in reverse....when Striker and Jane join the peace corp and go to Africa and teach them how to play basketball....only in reverse.

So the last two days, every time I get in a cab the drivers look at me horrified. I couldn't figure it out, until this afternoon. They are all afraid I have the Swine Flu. They're scared to death. I have two Rockwell People with me from Shanghai today and tomorrow, so they were the ones that let me in on the secret.

We were driving along, and the taxi driver starts talking to Jennifer. She turns to me, "He afraid you have pig sick."

Mind you, we are now driving through an area that looks just about as sanitary as standing water in a landfill.

I nod, and say, "Yeah, that would be my main concern..." Very funny...we literally walk by standing piles of garbage, and they are worried about Swine flu! (I got a good chuckle about that)

I can't believe my trip is starting to wind down. I'm to a week before I come home. I'm going to do a lot more exploring of Dalian this weekend. I'm also going to visit Jerry "Bad Noodle" Wang's family in his hometown. That should be fun.

Oh! I forgot to mention a story. When I was in Beijing, Woody invited me to his home for dinner with his wife and mother. They wanted to teach me how to make dumplings.

I went there the Sunday I left. His Mom had all the stuff set out and we started by making the dough. Once you get the dough done...you mix the ingredients in a bowl. We made two kinds, pork...and my second favorite saying in China, "Some kind of vegetable".

Between hearing, "Yes" and "Some kind of vegetable", that answers about 75% of my questions.

We then had to put the meat and vegetables into a tiny piece of dough, then fold it over and seal it. Woody's Mom made one. She did it so effortlessly that I thought this might be easier than I thought....um....no. When she made hers, it took all of 5 seconds and looked like a perfect dumpling...just like at the restaurant.

So I give it a shot...mine looks like a 3 year old's creation with play dough....not so good. His Mom laughs and encourages me in Chinese....at least I think that's what was going on. I try a couple more...same result. Eventually after my 20 or 30th attempt...I get one that kind of looks like a dumpling. Woody then tells me, "You now have your dumpling certificate...would you like to go for a degree?"

"I think a certificate is all the farther I'm going to get..."

So his Mom takes them all into the kitchen and starts cooking them. Woody comes out and tells me she is cooking mine first..just in case they don't make it, we can have dumpling soup. I started cracking up! "What no faith? Those babies are hand crafted nuggets of love." I have Woody translate that for his Mom, she starts laughing! I'm proud to report that all my dumplings managed to survive the cooking process!!! they looked like used play dough, but tasted good!!!

Woody also made me try Ma-Tie..I think that's right. It's Chinese liquor. I tried one little shot glass....I'm pretty sure that someone is packaging jet fuel and pawning it as liquor. It's horrible!!! And it's stronger than hell! Way stronger than anything we have in the states...gasoline, jet fuel, ether...those are a few names that come to mind. The whole family got a good chuckle at my face after I drank that.

All in all, a really nice visit. I had a great time! Woody is good people!

Also, I saw my first movie star commercial today. There was a commercial on TV for Turkish Airlines. Kevin Costner was the star of the commercial. It was hilarious! The premise was that you'd feel like a movie star once you flew with Turkish Airlines. It's Kevin Costner the whole way through, then at the end, he looks in a mirror and you see that it's just a regular Joe. REALLY cheesy! Not disappointing at all! I'm on the look out for more, but I think that's more of a Japanese thing.

Chinese Cooking Channel

I've found some great TV over here! There is a Chinese cooking channel in Dalian. It's SOOOO disgusting! Most of the stuff they are cooking I can't even describe. Weird sea creatures, bottom feeding fish, and other animals....things we would never think about touching, let alone catch, kill, and eat.

You can't understand what's going on, but by certain sounds and gestures you can tell they can't wait to try it. EVERYTHING they cook is rooter to the tooter! They don't discard anything! Everything is getting cooked. One chef finished cooking a fish...as his co-chef complimented him, he plucked the eye ball out of the fishes head and ate it! UGGHHHHH!!! But funny! I can't tear myself away! It's the best thing on TV....of course that isn't saying much!

There is so much weird stuff that they eat! It's unbelievable! The best is watching them get excited to try the finished product. Usually the dish looks like some kind of West Virginia hillbilly stew....They can't get enough!

It seems like everything goes in with it's head on...or chopped off and in with the other parts.

When they cook chicken, they chop the whole thing up, bones and all. Chinese people love pieces of bone with tiny chunks of meat attached. They think that is the best. If you give them a chicken breast, they will throw it away fighting each other for the wing tips...or chicken feet!

It's great to watch though! Survivor could have a never ending reward challenge off this channel!

Back to Dalian and Bad Noodle Country!

I flew back to Dalian. I will be here until the end of my trip now. It was weird, when I got off the plane, it was strangely comforting to be back here. Maybe since this is where I have spent the majority of my trip....I dunno.

I had to give my first elbow to a Chinese person. Here's a little background on that. Chinese people can be very rude in groups. I don't think it's intentional, it's just their culture. So if your in a shopping mall, airport..basically any public place. It's not uncommon to get pushed and shoved in close quarters. I've been very nice about it up until now. I've put up with a lot of pushing and shoving that I normally wouldn't take.

Well, I reached my breaking point. My flight from Shanghai to Dalian was delayed by two hours. So I spent Sunday afternoon sitting in the Pudong airport. (Quick note: no bar that I could find) The Chinese don't tell you anything about your plane either. They don't even mention that it's delayed until it's past the take off time. Several times I asked if we were delayed (Boarding was suppose to start at 2:40), they wouldn't say. Then of course every time I asked a question the answer was, "Yes".

So after we passed the departure time (3:15), I asked the lady what was happening. "Is our plane here yet?"

"Yes"

"Is there mechanical trouble?"

"Yes"

"It hasn't landed yet, has it?"

"Yes"

PERFECT! So now I just figure I have to wait! Finally we left two hours later. So we arrive in Dalian. Everyone is up to get off the plane. I'm standing in the aisle way waiting for people to start moving. Everyone is pushing and shoving. You have to see it to believe it. They are all trying to be the first out the door...even though we are in the back of the plane. I have a guy behind me who is literally pushing me every other minute. I brushed the first two off as an accident. The third one though!!! I turned around, "Hey homeboy! You push me one more time and I'm going to put this elbow right through your chest plate." I pointed at my elbow and then his chest. He just looked at me.

A couple seconds later he pushes me again! I delivered a big elbow right to the chest. I heard his wheeze, then ever so quietly I heard, "Sorry." Amazingly after that I didn't get pushed again. Weird how that works.

Finally, the "Bad Noodle" story. This one is from a few weeks ago, but I forgot to put it on the blog. I sent a few of you an email about it, but for the rest here it goes!

I gave the guy I'm training a new nickname. His name is officially "Bad Noodle" Jerry. One day we went to lunch at the same little Korean place we always go to. Jerry ordered noodles. We have lunch nothing special there. Then we go back to the office. We start working again. All of the sudden, Jerry starts grabbing his stomach....after a couple seconds he lets out a groan, "Uggghhh, bad noodle!" He then gets up runs over to a girl that works in the office, they speak Chinese, she UNLOCKS a cabinet, and gives him a small ration of toilet paper. Jerry then goes running down the hallway to the bathroom!

Every since then, I've called him Bad Noodle! He loves the nickname!

Just in case you forgot what the toilet looks like! Bad Noodle! Man of Steel!

May 7th!

That's the date I get to come back to the U.S.! I really excited about it...if for nothing else, to be able to drive my own car again! I think this is the longest I've gone without driving since I was 15. It will have been over two months when everything is said and done.

I've enjoyed my trip to China, there is a lot of opportunity here for our company and I wouldn't mind coming back to help out again. At the same time....it'll be nice to be home!

So the last couple of days have been busy with work. We've been going on sales calls to different customer sites. I've been to Johnson Controls and Michelin Tire. The Michelin Tire plant reminded me of an old Soviet style factory. It just seemed cold and forbidding. A lot of foreign companies that have come to China, have taken over old state run businesses. So the buildings are all very old. They are very rustic...and not intentionally. Both the sales calls were good JCI and Michelin seem to be interested. We'll see how the local team does.

I have also been doing training with the different sales offices over the last two weeks. My last one was yesterday (Friday) in Shanghai. As I finished the last one up, I thought about a concern of mine. I'm worried what I'm going to sound like when I get back to the U.S.? I've learned in China that you have to speak very slow and use basic words a lot. This is because if you talk fast the Chinese can't understand you (Their idea of speaking fast is our normal rate of exchange). I often get complimented that my English is very good...what they mean is they can understand me. So I end up sounding like Forrest Gump as I give these presentations. A lot like when Harold Ramis is teaching English in Stripes.

On Thursday night I had a REAL hamburger! It was unbelievable! There is a place called Malones in Shanghai that is known for their Western style burgers! It was soooo good, I needed that! I went there with a co-worker, Tina Mu. So we ordered mozzarella sticks and hamburgers. They were both good. I had my burger eaten in record time! I couldn't get enough! Meanwhile Tina was looking at her burger like it came from another planet. She studied it, turning it around and around in her hands, "I think this to much meat, not healthy"

"Tina, it's a hamburger, that's the key ingredient"

She took several small bites, then set it down. So we talked a little as I polished off my fries and a couple more mozzarella sticks (I'm just in heaven now). They played American music, had cold beer...it's amazing how much you can miss simple things.

Tina is now inspecting her burger again. She tells me there are not enough vegetables with it. She then takes the burger out of the bun and eats the bun with the lettuce leaf and tomato, "Much, much better...more taste."

So funny.

I didn't do anything on Friday night. I was in bed by nine (Pretty lame for a last Friday night in Shanghai). I have all today and part of tomorrow to spend in Shanghai, then it's off to Dalian one last time. I will be there till May 6th, then I fly back to Shanghai to head home on the 7th.

Game Changer

The Shanghai Taxi never gets old. Here are a couple quick funny stories...just in the last two days.

First, I was on my way to dinner yesterday with Tina Mu. I've been working with her this week in Shanghai. We've been making sales calls together and doing some training in the office. She's a really nice lady and has a great sense of humor. So after work we head to dinner. We're in a traditional Shanghai taxi (Rickety doors, blaring Chinese talk, guy driving in the Running Man seat, and a smoke going...). We pull up to a weird intersection that seems to have traffic coming from 5 different directions...really weird. Now, mind you, we've barely escaped two accidents and sure death once. Now we're stopped at a light so I can catch my breath. All of the sudden I hear this weird crashing noise. It doesn't sound like two cars hit....it sounds more like a bike or cart...(A donkey wouldn't be a surprise at this point)

Then I see what happened. A taxi driver hit a guy driving a bike! The bike was still in front of the car, the bike driver was on the other side of the car. The taxi hit him hard enough to flip him over the car.

The taxi driver gets out and starts acting like, "Can you believe this guy? What is he doing?"

I was so intrigued by this event that I wanted to get out of the cab and watch. I asked Tina if we could? (I wanted to see how this type of thing plays out with the local police) Tina could have cared less, she said we didn't have time and needed to get to the restaurant. So I never got to see what happened.

There are so many bikes and scooters in China that it's unreal. They look like schools of fish darting all around. Whenever there is a red light, there will be 20-50 of them packed at the light...just waiting for it to turn green. Once the light turns green, the school moves on. Also, the stuff they can carry on those things is amazing. Monday I saw two of them working in unison to carry a giant piece of drywall. They each had a passenger on the back of the scooter and the passengers held the drywall while the two drivers sped along....GREAT!

The second story happened this morning. I know I've said it before, but just when you think you've seen it all...you meet a GAME CHANGER!!!!

I get the bell hop to flag me down one of Shanghai's finest taxis. The guy pulls up and I hop in the back. I give the guy a business card for our Shanghai office. HE PULLS OUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO LOOK AT IT! UNBELIEVABLE! I think about getting out...then I say to myself, "The Panda owes it to the people to take this ride."

So the driver studies the card for two or three minutes, then the bell hop gets involved. They chat/argue back and forth...then the bell hop says, "He good, he take you there." (Not the most comforting words)

The taxi then heads out of the parking lot like we are trying to get away from the Death Star before it blows up....two near misses in lane one! He yells something at a guy on a bike...which is funny in it's own right...there are no rules here!

We head out, I have the IPOD jamming, people watching out the window....then after twenty minutes I start noticing buildings that are on the other side of town. I try to tell him we're going the wrong way....might as well be talking to the window button. Finally I get him to stop driving*

*Note: Be careful how you do this. The blind taxi driver decide to stop in the middle of the road...not the best place.

So I try to explain that we are going the wrong way. He says, "I, OK."

"....Right."

He then pulls out his magnifying glass again....looks at the business card...then gives me the thumbs up sign.

I ask him if he knows Mike Utley....he doesn't get the joke.

So we head out again, this time he keeps the magnifying glass in one hand, the business card in the other, and drives with his knee.

I'm in the back yelling at him to put down the stuff and grab the wheel....finally he does. So we start driving again, still going the wrong way. I pull out my phone and call a guy from the office. I put him on the phone with Confucius.

So we head out again....finally we make it to the office. We had gone from Pushi to Pudong and back. We rode around for at least an hour....grand total....60RMB...or about 9 dollars.

Cabs are ridiculously cheap...on the other hand.....so is your life when you get in one! It's all about trade offs!

Pictures for the last blog

Here are some pics from the Yu Garden, really cool place!

I ate at a famous Dumpling place in Shanghai, Bubba also came here!

This was being sold at a market stand right next to the dumpling place....I have no idea what it is.