The Panda Reloaded

Nia Hao!

The Panda is back and reloaded! WOW! There have been a few exciting events the last couple days...let's get to it! REALLY long one today!

OH! One thing, Dad, if that was really you leaving the comment on the blog...I am SOOO impressed! That means you've come a long way from your most famous quote, "I don't get into that computer stuff."

I survived North Korea's missile try...better luck next time. That really was a non issue in Dalian. No one seemed to care. They were happy it was heading towards Japan. The Chinese don't care for the Japanese...dates back to WWII. All and all, not a big concern though. For those of you that might not no, Dalian is REALLY close to the Korea's. So I thought it might be a little more interesting around here...big let down. No one was fired up about it.

This week has been busy. I found out I'm heading to Beijing this Friday. I'm really excited about that. Over the weekend I hope to see The Great Wall of China, The Forbidden City, Tienanmen Square, and a Panda Bear. We'll see how that goes. I'm actually only in Beijing for three days. I then go to a city called Tianjin. There is a Proctor & Gamble plant there. I'm going to make some sales calls with one of our local team. So we will be there Tuesday through Friday. Then back to Beijing for the weekend and fly out Sunday night to Shanghai.

I'm actually excited to do get outside of the cities and see a little of the country life (I won't forget my camera). I think there will be some great picture opportunities there!

So what has been going on in Dalian this week? I'm glad you asked. There have been some great events!

First, Monday night I watched Hunt For Red October. I love that movie. Sean Connery playing a Russian sub commander, yet making no attempt at a Russian accent....straight Scotsman delivery! Classic.

So come Tuesday morning I had Connery on the brain. We started our day at the Rockwell office in Dalian. I arranged a conference call with Jim Webb. He's the Sales Engineer I worked with when I was at Bosch Braking. I've had trouble getting the local team to understand how to work together. So I thought maybe he could share his experience with our program and that might help. We had the conference call and it went well. It was Tracy (Sales), Jerry (AMP), and Simon (Area Manager).

Simon came to Dalian from a town up North, Shang Yuan..or something like that. He shows up wearing a neck brace. He got hurt playing basketball! He starts explaining what happened...a neck brace is funny enough on it's own, but you add the Chinese basketball story and it's hard to keep from chuckling. Apparently he hurt his neck on a head fake going to the hoop! (Simon plays the 5 on his team. I'm a good 6 inches taller than Simon)

I listen to the story, then tell him, "Try not to head fake anyone at Goodyear...we don't want anyone else getting hurt."

His answer....come on you have to know!!!! "Yes"

The picture to the left is Simon wearing his neck brace at Goodyear. Good stuff!!!

So after the meeting we do some training, recap the meeting, and decide to go for lunch before we head back to Goodyear.

Lunch was alright, some kind of noodle place. It was tiny though. When we walked in, the table we had could barely sit three of us. I said to Tracy, "We better get a bigger table, there are four of us."

Tracy looked at me confused, "Ah, no, Simon eat at table behind with her." She points at some random table for two that has a lone woman eating at it.

"Does she know you guys?" This seemed like a legit question.

Again Tracy looks confused, "No, she no know us, but Simon sit there." I start cracking up, and tell her that I'd prefer if we could all sit together.

So finally we get seated and eat our noodles...up to this point I'm enjoying my lunch, then it hits me! Tracy is going to want to drive us to the plant! Damn!!!!! There's no way out of this one! Once lunch ends Tracy goes and gets the car. Ten minutes later I hear more than the typical amount of honking (Which is a lot). Tracy pulls around the corner...perfect!

We all get in the car and Tracy takes off. Within two minutes Jerry and Simon are screaming in Chinese! I'm looking around and ask what the hell the commotion is about? Simon says, "Tracy drive wrong way on street!"

"You mean she's in the wrong lane?" Although we're on the right side of the road....

"No, this street go that way!" Simon points behind us (Even funnier with the neck brace on)....

"Oh, hell!" I just hunker down, fortunately there were no cars coming at us. So we get onto the next street...seems to be OK, everyone has calmed down now.

So as we start driving I decide to bust out my Connery voice and see if they can figure out the movie star. I say, "Give me one ping." Everyone looks at me confused. So I say it again...confusion. Jerry guesses Tom Hanks. "No Jerry, not Tom Hanks."

So I say it again, no one knows. I tell them it's Sean Connery, then Jerry goes, "OH! The funny talk, sexy old man! Girls like him!" Now Tracy and Simon both know who we are talking about...I think. So Tracy asks me to say the line again.

"Give me one Ping"

Tracy starts cracking up, then she tries to do his voice. Now everyone is trying to do Connery's voice! I'm dying, I can't catch my breath I'm laughing so hard. They all start laughing to and keep doing it.

So after everyone regains composure I tell Tracy to honk her horn when I ask for a ping. She gets all excited to try. So we do it when someone cuts us off.

"Give me one ping"

HONK! Everyone starts laughing again. Then I see this vehicle in front of us. (Had the camera this time)

Tracy explains that they are moving and hired the driver to move them, because he's cheap (You think? The guy is driving a motorcycle with a wagon attached) This thing is tiny! If you can gage the size ratio from the steering wheel. This is going down a major highway in Dalian.

"Tracy, give me two pings."

Tracy honks her horn at them twice! Those two old ladies were ticked!!! We started cracking up again! Good stuff!

So my last story came today. My clipper cord broke. It quit working...a little to much juice from the outlet I think. So I got a little lazy on shaving my head and my hair got to the length where it would take forever to shave it down. So I asked Jerry about going to a barber shop. He said he needed a hair cut so we could go after work.

We left Goodyear and walked down to the main drag...where that Donkey made it's gallant charge. We pass a crazy looking hair styling place...I ask Jerry if this is it. He says he was going to take me to another one down the road where it would be cheaper...however you'll see why I wanted to go here in a minute.

So we go into this hair place. All I want is a clipper to run over the head and get it short to shave. Jerry explains this to the guy. (Also, everyone in there wants to be the one to cut my hair, it's like a fight, I was pulled by three different people. Finally the boss said something and they all let go.)

I sit down, the guy gets out the clippers and does his thing. Jerry is in the back getting his hair washed. I finish up, and now a girl with GIANT hair is pulling on my arm. (Jerry is now back in the chair for his cut) I ask Jerry what she wants? "She want to wash your hair, she never washed an American's hair before."

"Jerry, I don't have any hair."

"Of course, but she wants to wash"

So I head to the back and get my head washed. The funny part was she used the same motions as if I had a full head of hair. Very funny! Then she massaged my head for a bit, that wasn't half bad. It was hard not to laugh though, because every time I looked up...there was a giant head of hair looking at me.

We get done, it was a grand total of 30RMB...or about 6 dollars.....and yes, I took pictures.

Chinese Hair Care at it's finest!!! The girl on the left was the one that washed my hair...tell me you could keep a straight face? Oh yeah, that's a guy with the pink hair.
Jerry Wang, lady killer!

Top Fives!

It was a pretty mellow weekend! I got to talk to some friends and family! That was nice! I thought today I would write my top five's....If you have a category you'd like to know about...leave me a comment. There is no ranking here...just five things

Top Five Gross Things

1. Chinese people spitting on the floor in restaurants...very gross, they just hock away.

2. Sea Urchins

3. Snot rockets, loogies, and any other bodily fluid that gets plainly fired on to the street while you watch.

4. Nose picking, very common here. They do it as they talk to you...more guys than girls.

5. Bathrooms...just awful


Top Five Things I Like

1. Dumplings...ummm...good

2. Some kind of Tofu and meat...very good.

3. Taxi rides!

4. 400,000 people is a village..unreal.

5. The old buildings...very cool!

Top Five Things on ESPN

1. Ping Pong

2. Bad Mitton

3. Pool

4. Soccer

5. More Soccer

Top five Funny Things

1. Pizza Hut is huge over here...big night out to Pizza Hut

2. KFC is huge! The Colonel rules!

3. Goldmember

4. Love of the NBA

5. Donkey cart


More to come later! I'm going to Beijing for a week, that starts next week. I'm looking forward to that!

Yes and the "N" word

I have finally discovered a language barrier issue that has perplexed me since my arrival. Whenever you talk to the Chinese, they have a tendency to say "Yes" all the time. Even when you are asking a question. For example.

Question: How did that report turn out?

Answer: Yes

They do it all the time, it'll drive you crazy. So finally I asked Nancy and Jerry today if yes meant different things in Chinese. One said yes, the other said no. (Oh boy!) So after playing around of twenty questions, I figured it out. The Chinese ask and answer questions differently than English speaking people. Yes can easily mean, "Yes, I didn't understand" Even though it's completely out of context for us. Very strange...so now I've learned to follow up my initial question with two or three probing questions. Amazing!

The other thing is the "N" word. I might have posted about this early, but it's to funny not to revisit. The Chinese use the word "Nigga" as we would say "Um" or "Oh", basically thinking out loud.

It's so funny to hear, especially when they use it in conjunction with American names. It's like a scene out of 8 mile.

Example: "Da shu ma tha shi ba nigga Jeff"



It's hilarious, it's hard not to laugh every time it's used with a name. It's like being part of a rap posse! Good stuff!

Nothing To Eat!

So today we took one of the Goodyear people out for lunch. He asked if we wanted to try something different. I was up for that. I was getting a little bored with the Korean place we go everyday. So we go to another place that isn't far from the plant. The guys name is James Gao. So he says the place is known for spicy food. (I'm down for that)

So we go in and sit down. He starts looking over the menu. Jerry is also looking at a menu. Jerry starts screwing around asking me if I want chicken kidneys, pigs heart, duck head, pigs ears...etc... I just laugh.

So I get Q&A'd about what I'll eat. I tell them to just order and I'll eat what I like....BIG MISTAKE!

We had rabbit legs, tofu mush, something from the ocean that looked horrible, duck and 100 year old eggs. There were also a couple other things that I have no idea what they were.

I was starving and nothing looked good. It all looked horrible! The duck looked like they purposely found only pieces that were at bone joints. The rabbit legs just didn't look good. Actually the thing that tasted the best was the 100 year old egg.

It's an egg that has turned purple. They bury and egg in mud with salt for a long time, maybe a month or two? Then dig it up and shell it. It looks like a purple hard boiled egg. I wanted to try it because I saw it on Survivor. I couldn't believe it tasted as well as it did. The only other thing I ate was rice. It was a rough lunch, then at the very end I saw a cockroach running across the wall....nice.

Nancy and I were meeting in the hotel lobby at 6:30. I was outside about 5 minutes early. The doorman was hilarious! Apparently there is a "Massage Parlor" across the street from the hotel...right next to the police station. He assures me the police enjoy a free "Rub and a Tug". I showed him I could count to ten in Chinese on my hand (He was happy about that! Everyone likes that I make an effort to learn things, it really goes along way). He kept talking to me outside...he knew a little English, he was a riot. He would make faces at people he didn't like that walked by, then try to convince me to go to the massage parlor. He also taught me how to say a girl looks beautiful (I double checked that one with Nancy..he was legit). He was good peeps.

We end up going to dinner with two other Rockwell people. I was told we were going to a dumpling place. I was excited, Dumplings=Good. A staple of the Western diet in China...dumplings.

So we get to the place....I look at Tracy, "Um....there are a lot of tanks full of strange animals from the sea? I thought we were getting dumplings?"

"They dumpling too." Tracy informs me, while she's looking at all the sea creatures in tanks. I ask her what she's doing (The other two are on the phone). She says she is picking out our dinner.

There is absolutely nothing that looks familiar here. Even the fish look strange. They have some creatures that look like they should live near the Titanic. There was so much slime everywhere. Very gross.

Tracy asks me what I want?

"Dumplings"

"What else want?" As she is speaking Chinese and pointing at something that is crawling away from her; as she flicks it over on it's other side. (I assume to get a quality look at the slime production)

I tell her I'm going to wait by the stairs. Then I hear a bunch of yelling. A couple large fish jumped out of an aquarium. They started flopping on the floor. Two Chinese ladies were chasing them around the room. Twice as funny watching the action and hearing the Chinese dialect as they chase fish around a restaurant.

I start laughing, which the waitstaff thinks is funny, so they start laughing. So they finally catch the fish, I clap. For some reason I felt like I was at a county fair event in the South....so I clapped. That brought even more laughter.

We finally got the other two off the phone (Chinese people are always on the phone, it'll drive you crazy! No American...and I mean no one...is on the phone as much as the Chinese) OH YEAH! One of the other Rockwell people is Steel/Slum Dog!!! Great to have him back in the fold! It made my night!

So the food starts coming...I'm a little nervous after seeing Sea world China downstairs...I was right to be. It started out OK, some vegetables showed up..those weren't bad. Then a giant bowl of stuff came. I can't even describe it..just stuff...ocean stuff. I asked what it was? "Seafood" says Steel.

"Could you be more specific?"

"Fish and other animals."

"RRRRight." It was SO weird looking...everyone else just dove in. Then they brought out some Oysters and Clams..The problem is the Chinese don't clean them. They just eat everything, including the intestinal tract. (I'll pass on those too!)

Then came some kind of meat on a bone. It kind of looked like a drumstick, but it wasn't chicken. I asked Tracy what it was? "Horn Animal."

"What?"

"How you say horn animal?"

Now I'm going to have some fun, "Rhinoceros?"

"No, not that"

"Unicorn?"

"No, not that"

"Triceratops?"

"No, what that?", then she spoke in Chinese to Nancy. "Ah, how you say....deer?"

I actually tried a bite of that it wasn't to bad. Then the dumplings finally showed up. They were OK, but I've had better dumplings.

Regular Day

I can't believe it! Nothing weird or crazy happened today. It was a normal day in China. Work was good. I had Hot Pot for dinner with Nancy and Jerry. Nancy is the Business Manager for CSM in China. She's a nice lady. She's here for the week to learn more about RAAMP at Goodyear.



Wow! It was a regular day! Imagine that! In China!

Hot Pot Rocks!

Peaceful Panda

I Saw A Donkey Today

So I quit bringing my camera with me on lunch. We walk to the same place every day. I've taken pictures of the everything of interest on the walk...or so I thought.

We walk outside of Goodyear's gate and are standing there for another Rockwell guy to join us. His name is Tony. So we're standing there and Jerry wants to go into the Mom and Pop store across the street. Now when I say "Mom and Pop" IT'S Mom and Pop. So we walk down a set of stairs. Jerry goes into the shop, I wait outside because only about 4 people fit in this store...and Mom and Pop are already in there.

Jerry comes out and we walk back up the stairs. (You can't see the street from the bottom of the stairs.) We get to the top, and there is a DONKEY! I know I've said, "I wish I had my camera"; this time I REALLY wished I had my camera (With the exception of Gold Member, I'll never forgive myself for letting that one slip away).

There is a little old man sitting on a cart that looks like it's from Mid-Evil times. He has two big, blue, disgusting barrels on the back of the cart. He looks to be around 132 years old. He's sitting on the cart, whipping the donkey...only he's so old and frail he's barely hitting the donkey. There is no way the donkey knows he's being whipped. I just started laughing right there! The old man is yelling something as he attempts to whip the donkey (Oh yeah, the whip is a piece of string tied to a twig). He is barely above normal voice when he yells. I ask Jerry what he's saying?

"He say, faster"

I agree.

The whole scene looks like Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail. "Bring Out Your Dead!!"

We start walking down the road, within 30 seconds we are 40 yards ahead of Team Donkey. We aren't even walking fast...in fact, I keep stopping to turn around and look at the Team Donkey. The reason for this is that we are approaching the corner. That's where the main drag is. There are 6 lanes of traffic on this road (Only 4 in America, but they make it work as 6...maybe even 7 depending where people decide the turn lane is).

So we get to the corner and he's still coming. I tell Jerry I want to wait and see what happens. Jerry looks at me like I'm strange, "You've never seen a donkey and a cart?"

"Not heading into Chinese traffic." Jerry shrugs and stands to watch. The old man shows no signs of slowing down...mostly because it isn't possible to go any slower. They get to the intersection, the old man starts talking to the donkey. A car comes whizzing around the corner and scares the hell out of the donkey...he takes off into traffic!

The old man is yelling now, cars are honking, people are swerving, the donkey is going at a trot now. I'm laughing so hard I'm going to wet my pants! Jerry is still a little perplexed that I think this is odd.

They make it to the other side of the street, and start heading down the hill. I have no idea where he was going, but man, there has got to be a better way!



Here is a picture we took with the BTA Maintenance team. Jerry is on the far left. They are all nice guys! It was funny when we took this picture. (Big Boy is taking the picture) He needed us to move to the left...so instead of everyone shifting over...everyone started shuffling over, it was like we were doing some weird little dance. A great kickoff today though!

Sunday Pics! Dalian

I went to lunch today at this place. It was really good! It's right around the corner from my hotel. (If you click on the pics, you can see them bigger...I just figured that out...I know, I'm slow)

Chinese flag....keepin it real! CHINA is powerful!

My favorite thing in China so far, the currency. It all has pictures of Chaiman Mao on it. These are all the denominations I had on me today. There is also a 20 and fifty. The top coin is worth 1RMB, the same as the green bill. I call it Mao Money! Mao Money! Mao Money!

This was my waitress today. She was a nice girl...not sure about the outfit though. The Cop Shop! This is right behind my hotel.

The bootleg Olive Garden. If you go around the corner it leads to my hotel, maybe 100 yards away.

That guy is on a motorcyle attached to a cart. I'm not sure what he is hauling, but that's a small load. I've seen guys in the morning with that pile 20 feet high in the air.

Guy on a motorcyle. The gloves he's wearing are attached to the bike. They are all like that for winter....cause they don't put the bikes away when the snow hits!

Sweet three wheeled car! Just to give you perspective, the front end of near car and the three wheel special are seperated by one lane. Those things are a menace on the road. They are always trying to squeeze them in somewhere.

AH! The taxi! My mode of transportation. More or less they all look like this. The car is made by Volkswagen. It's called a Sanantana. I think I got that right.

This road actually leads to the highway. If you take the round about all the way around you can turn onto here. This is the way to Goodyear.

Some old building near the Round About. I think it was built by the Russians or the Japanese.

This is the round about on the end of Remin Lu. That's the street I live on. There's a big ship model in the center of the round about. Dalian is built on Squares. Each of these places has a specific name...I can't remember this one. But there are all kinds of them in town. Most of them are parks in the center.

Better picture of the boat. The harbor is just behind this square to. It looks a little rough down there. I didn't want to go alone.

A cool lookin building. I have no idea what it's for. This is also on the road that turns into a highway.

This one is for Amy Gray! Look Amy! Coke!...alive and well in China!

Pizza King! I've eaten here a couple times. They actually don't do to bad on the pizza...It's not American pizza, but all things considered...not bad. This is about 100Yds away from the hotel. The bootleg Olive Garden is right around the corner. I asked about the golf stuff...they all just stare at me blankly. I'm not sure why it's there. No one seems to be able to give me a straight answer on that.

This is the front corner of my hotel, the picture is being taken towards the end of the street with the boat.

This is looking the other way. Dalian is as big as Chicago proper. Just the city limits...actually it might be as big as Chicago and LA proper. They have no suburbs...so it's just the city. Chicago and LA are both bigger if you count the surrounding areas.