Quick Funny Story

The other night Woody (The guy I'm working with right now) took me to a famous dumpling place in Tianjin. So we sit down, Woody asks what I want. I tell him to just order.

So we start getting the food. The dumplings were alright, I've had better...I didn't tell him that because he said it's really famous in China. Although, he said the name of the place translates to, "A dog wouldn't eat that"....um.....ok.

So as the food comes out we're eating and enjoying some conversation. Then a little bowl comes out with a cover on it. I ask Woody what it is?

Woody says, "Ah, VERY special dish, best food served."

I remove the cover and there is this dark substance giggling in the bowl. "What is this Woody?"

"Is pork."

I look at it again...nothing in the bowl even comes close to resembling something that looks like pork. Woody already has almost all of his in his mouth...I poke at it with the chopsticks...it moves with each touch.

I ask Woody what kind of pork it is..."It come from pig."

"Thank you Woody, that clears everything up"

I pick up the large square of substance, and realize, it's actually cut directly from a pig's back! There is a giant layer of skin, then a giant layer of fat, and then a tiny piece of meat connected to it. SO GROSS!

I tell Woody, "This pork is going to have to fly before I eat it." Woody laughs.

So I set it aside for a minute and concentrate on the other food. Then it hits me...if this is such a good thing, Woody has to want mine!

"Woody, do you want mine?" I'm picking it up with the chopsticks and waving it back and forth like a pendulum....Woody is following it with his eyes.

"It sure looks tasty Woody...you know you want it?"

Woody shakes me off a couple times; I keep up the pressure.

"Look at it Woody, just dripping with fatty flavor...you know you want this...the pig knows you want this...he wants you to enjoy him..."

Finally Woody breaks down and grabs it from me! He ate the whole thing in two bites! UGGGHHHH!!!! I was laughing the whole time.

It reminded me of the radish eating contest between Zoom and Straz that I orchestrated at Val's Halloween party.

At that point I wish I had more giant chunks of pig's back to tempt Woody with.